Lost in Translation
by Kerboku
Summary: There are certain human customs Garrus will just never understand.
1. Chapter 1

"Please Garrus, it will only take a second." She beckoned toward him as she lay sprawled across her own bed. Avoiding eye contact, he let out a low groan, though he frowned, or whatever turians did with their mouths to relay an expression, he didn't really mind what was requested of him. His lover was always very peculiar when it came to one subject.

He stood slowly from his place on the couch, his muscles strained as he stretched his arms and legs.

"Alright, but just one more time. Few people get to see this side of me. You know Shepard," She smirked as he sauntered closer to her, her dark hair fell into her eyes and her smile grew a little more dangerous as an empty bottle of wine rolled onto the floor. "You really should treasure my company more."

He sat by her side on the edge of the bed, his chest turning a deep shade of cobalt blue as she pressed her cheek against his back, and wrapped her fingers delicately around his narrow waist.

He could feel the warmth of her body through the thin fabric of his tunic. Undoing a latch on his second knee, he slid one of his boots off. Wiggling what Shepard referred to as his piggies, his claws attached themselves to the plush carpet of the captain's cabin. He removed the other boot as Shepard crawled into his lap, giggling happily as his claws moved against the carpet.

"Vakarian, I order you to lay down." He looked down at her as she placed a sloppy kiss on his mandible, slowly backing himself up onto the head of the bed, sleepily watching Shepard as she moved off of his body and his legs.

He cringed as she hit the floor and took his left foot in her hands and squeezed the bottom of his toes, watching as his claws slightly retracted in and out.

He hummed in his throat, trying to distract himself from the pleasure pain that was Shepard tickling his feet. He hissed and blushed deeper, a low laugh beginning to form from the hum in his throat. Shepard smiled and hiccuped, she placed gentle kisses on the pads of his feet, nuzzling them and nibbling them slightly.

She ran her tongue down the length of his foot, caressing the flat of it gently with the tip of her tongue he squirmed and gritted his teeth as she nibbled.

"Fh-Fox! What are you d-doing?!" He dug his talons into the bed, the blanket ripping slightly.

She had never done this before. He tried his best to not move, to please her in this small way as was apparently human custom when it came to the tickling, which he was not too good at, as proved by the fine scratches on Shepard's rib cage and stomach. He wiggled and squeezed the mattress under him, trying not to howl in protest as she began on the other foot.

She pressed her fingers to the pads of his feet, laughing softly as Garrus struggled to keep from ripping the blankets to shreds. He whimpered slightly as she kissed the side of his foot, her tongue dancing from one side to the other, flicking across his toes gently. She smiled a dangerous smile.

One only Fox Shepard was capable of.


	2. Chapter 2

So there's a lemon that supports my cross species liaison head cannon in here.

* * *

In the beginning it wasn't that strange that he didn't know.  
All anyone every really referred to her as was either Shepard, or Commander, or Commander Shepard.  
Or Shepard Commander in the geth's case.  
The point was it was trivial information that didn't mean much to Garrus.  
But that was just it. Garrus. She called him Garrus.  
Fifty times out of sixty she referred to her colleagues and cohorts as their first name, but no one ever beckoned the commander's given name. And at first this was fine.  
But the years past and friendly relationships grew into something more than friendly between the human and turian duo. He loved her and she loved making him squirm beneath her as she lied about various human mating customs. She had a special place in her heart for her various colleague's alien feet, same for anything non human, Garrus Vakarian had no idea of this fact though, as well as most of the Normandy crew save EDI.

But the first night, the night they decided to take a chance on each other, was the night they realized they really didn't know much about each other.

"Say my name Garrus." She breathes as she leaned over him. But his eyes instead locked onto the ceiling.  
Was he to call out her family name? Her title?  
She moved harshly on top of him. He sucked in the artificial air through his mandibles.  
He was unfamiliar in human mating rituals, they were most certainly different species as proved by the way she began sucking his tongue only to recoil as she found the dry sandpaper texture revolting.  
Garrus mentally cursed as he raked his mind for any idea about what his lover's given name was. Time seemed to stop as Shepard's hips began to move slower and slower against him.  
Garrus locked eyes with his lover's before looking away as he began uttering something unrecognized by her translator. She stopped moving and his hardened member began to revert to its previous goopy state. No longer filling her to the brim with himself, his body self consciously sheathed what she called his penis. She blinked before she began to feel herself drip onto him. Her face flushed red.  
"I-it's ok Garrus! This actually happens to a lot of humans as well..." The dissatisfied look on her face and the disappointment in her voice was evident. He made no move to speak as the embarrassment of not knowing the woman he loved's first name. He winced as she moved off of his groin, covering her flushed face as she made way to her private bathroom.  
He sat up. Confused and curious, he rubbed his lover off of himself with his hand. He looked at his palm for a moment before he began to think. A lot of humans also didn't know what their mates names were? He worried for the human race as he realized most humans only had one mate for life. He listened carefully as his commander seemed to be starting a shower for herself. He then took another chance on Shepard.  
He darted towards her private terminal.  
He stood over the desk, careful not to somehow ruin her latest model ship scattered across the desk, and activated the computer. Shepard often left it logged in, but due to the recent AI take over mission she didn't want to risk any hacking. Her log in name was simple enough, Shep_Commander . . , but it was her password that had him thinking. Any missed attempts would be reported immediately to Shepard through her omnitool. But luckily for Garrus, his love was forgetful when it came to trivial things and kept her passwords all on a sticky note attached to the bottom of the desk. He imput the password: garrusismyspaceboyfriend5150 and began looking through her emails.  
Not one mentioned her by name.  
He gasped in disbelief as he realized his stupidity.  
" EDI. Do you happen to have the commander's birth record in the system?" He whispered into the intercom as he heard the shower roar with water pressure. "Confirmed. May I inquire as to why this information is needed?" Garrus chirped through his mandibles. "EDI, I need to know the commander's full given name." The intercom hummed slightly. "Lieutenant Vakarian, I do not intend to pry on what it is you are doing but I should remind you that-"  
Garrus intterupted EDI by muttering something turians should be ashamed to mutter before he started again in a low hushed voice. "Please, I just need the information."  
"Lieutenant Vakarian-"  
"Please EDI. For my sake, just say it out right. I really don't to be like a common human who doesn't even know the name of the one they wish to spend their life with. So please EDI, what is the commander's name."  
There was silence.  
The shower stopped.  
The intercom didn't buzz.  
Garrus didn't breath.  
Even the commander's fish and hamster seemed to stop in their tracks.

She stood in the doorway of the bathroom. Hair dripping in front of her bright sapphire eyes. Water streaming off of her naked body as he held the intercom and watched her.  
Steam rolled out into the bed room.  
Her eyes turned dangerous.  
He for a split second swore there was a thresher maw before him.  
And for that split second he realized that humans had a much stranger and broader way of communicating then any other species.  
She slowly but swiftly took the intercom from Garrus's shaking talons.  
"Attention crew, you either heard nothing or have a death wish. I hope I have made myself clear. That is all."  
She set the intercom down and pressed a button.  
"EDI, please state my birth name." The speaker hummed.  
"The birth name of Commander Shepard is listed as Fox. Fox is also a name for a creature of earthly origins that is know to humans for being sneaky and cunning as well as killing lesser creatures such as chickens."  
"Thank you EDI. Now if you can delete Vakarian's public announcement from the system before it somehow gets to Cerberus that would be nice."

The water from her hair fell in beads on to the floor.  
He held her hips as his penis unsheathed itself, a process the commander didn't favor seeing as she couldn't command it. She positioned herself above him as he sat exposed on the chair. She suckled on his neck and used her thumbs to feel the soft gray flesh under his scales. His penis throbbed as it entered her, shaping to the inside of her body she moaned as it covered and pressed against every crevice and cranny.  
Garrus pulsated every passing second, his lover's body feeling full and complete with him inside of her. They moaned and growled and pulsated together in rhythm.  
Together they became a whole, clawing at each other as they fought over who controlled what. Garrus forced his tongue to try to caress her soft pink flesh, but she stopped him with her hands,  
Her eyes squeezed shut in pleasure pain as his member worked inside of her.  
"Say my name." He didn't speak until he felt himself grow close to the end of her strange reproductive system and the end of his growth. He growled as she began digging her fingers into his fragile skin.  
"Fhaaaux." He released himself as she collapsed on him.  
She held her breath as he retracted himself out of her and into his sheath.  
He held her onto him by the hips and pressed his forehead against hers. Water mixed with sweat dribbled down her jaw as she stumbled for words over her own breath.  
"You're going to pay for that Vakarian."


End file.
